Wednesday, October 10, 2012


It's interesting that this blog has become the emotional dumping ground for whatever I don't want to carry with me through my days, or whatever I don't want to dwell on.  It makes me sound like a rather miserable human being, and I'm sorry for that!  In real life I'm smiley and giggly and sort of ridiculous.

Like every other Canadian, I thought about all the things I am thankful for this past weekend.  We had dinner with very close family friends (we jokingly call them my "other" set of parents, and their two kids are as close to us as siblings.  Their oldest is 9 days younger than me, our parents met in prenatal class).  It's a tradition that we have stuck to, despite the fact that we really don't see each other much.  I consider them family and are thus invited to all family gatherings.  I am deeply thankful for them, as I had a house and people who welcomed me with open arms at all times.  It also filled the hole that I had growing up, without any biological family around me.  I didn't have cousins to play with (my 2 cousins are 8 and 10 years older than me and live on the other side of the country).  My parents filled their lack-of-family hole with this other family, and there is an intimacy built on 28 years of family dinners, shared vacation, sleepovers, hiking, biking and general outdoorness.

I am incredibly thankful for my wife, as I look at her just about every day with the stupid expression that belays how amazing I think she is.  She is my favourite person, I rarely get tired of her (could be because we also have different interests).  I have learned so much about myself because she has helped me to look deeper.  She has so much time and love invested in me, and likewise.  We have given each other space to grow, and support to grow together.  It's been a fantastic five and a half years, which blows both of our minds!!  In a way I am also thankful for our infertility issues, because it's reinforced how much of a priority we need to make US, and how we need to have other things to do than just be mommies.  One day our kids will be grown and neither of us want to stare at each other going "ok, so now what?"

I am thankful for our privilege, that we have money and food, we are safe.  Nobody's shooting at us, I can go to work without being raped or kidnapped or enslaved.  My problems are generally first world problems.  My complaints revolve around why my internet or iPhone are working so slowly, not whether I will survive another day or how to feed my family.  I have a job I love doing something that makes me feel GOOD about my contribution to society, that pays me enough that I can do things I enjoy, for my benefits, my sick and vacation time and for the incredible education opportunities.

I am thankful for my future children, who are already giving me grey hairs.  ;)

I am also thankful that the people around me have had generally a good year, with lots of exciting things that have happened (one friend got married, another adopted a little guy who is ADORABLE, another got through a rough spot in her life).  I am thankful that my mom's retirement in December will find her still well in mind and body, and that I will have many more years with her!

I am thankful for pumpkins.  Omg pumpkin.  The sugar pumpkins are so late this year that this completely bypassed thanksgiving... but oh lordy am I going to stock up and make lots of pumpkin puree!!

Peace out!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Goal setting

According to someone famous, all the overachievers in our culture are goal setters.  I set goals, usually, but I'm not known to write them down. DW has been in a transition state, and very unsure of where she's going and has thus been reluctant to make goals. We made a goal together: have a baby.

That goal is something that isn't working. It's more of it 3 year goal now. DW has gone back to school in an effort to get something out of her massive amounts of student loans.

I have also started (back) watching "Till Debt Do Us Part", with the ever wonderful Gail, who herds migrant finances back into well contained pens.  She did a series about babies, 3 in particular involved fertility treatments. It kept coming up loud and clear: your debt should be paid off as much as humanely possible before your jump into fertility baby making. Now I understand why our baby has not yet materialized, it's waiting for its parents to get their act together.

We are not in terrible shape by any stretch of the imagination, however our high cost of living (thanks, Vancouver) means that we need to work extra hard to clear up any stray bits.  This is totally do able, and it's do able and worth doing for everyone. Paying off debt is not something to be done later, Gail repeatedly shows math that clearly demonstrates that not dealing with the issue now means you will spend double in interest.

So, our challenge now is to get our financial house in order (and no more procrastinating) and get DW healthy and well, and to get her through school, and also to save for baby.